"Cereal Wars II: Revenge of the Bowl" P2
Previously on The Meh Series:
Jimmy Meh and Katila survived a breakfast-themed interdimensional tribunal by defeating the Spoonlord, Sir Slurpius, in an epic breakfast battle. Now they’re back home, with a lifetime supply of cereal that never gets soggy. There’s just one problem…
They have no bowls.
Chapter 1: A Bowlless World
Jimmy stood in their charred kitchen, holding a single spoon and a box labeled “Ultra Mega Sogless Crunch Supreme.”
“No bowls. No sink. No hope,” he muttered.
Katila emerged from the bathroom, brushing her teeth with a chopstick.
“We need to rebuild. The cereal must be eaten. The prophecy demands it.”
Jimmy blinked. “What prophecy?”
“The one I just made up. Let’s go.”
Chapter 2: Into the Glass Zone
The two adventurers ventured into the outskirts of Oatmeal Heights, to a forbidden place: The Glass Zone — a junkyard of shattered dreams, broken dishes, and a raccoon that legally owns a food truck.
There they met Shatterella, the Bowl Witch, who spoke in riddles and worked part-time at IKEA.
“You seek the Sacred Bowl of Bottomless Breakfast?” she rasped. “Many have tried. Most were eaten by the Dishwasher Hydra.”
Katila pulled out a coupon. “We’ll trade you this 10% off waffle maker voucher.”
Shatterella’s eyes lit up. “Deal.”
Chapter 3: The Dishwasher Hydra
Deep within the Glass Zone, guarded by soap suds and steam, the Dishwasher Hydra slept — a greasy, many-headed beast that screamed in error codes.
Jimmy threw a sponge grenade.
BOOM.
The Hydra roared to life, its six heads barking things like “CYCLE ERROR” and “LOW RINSE AID.”
Katila used the Spoon of Destiny like a boomerang, slicing off three heads, but they instantly regrew — now angrier and humming elevator music.
“I hate this thing,” Jimmy said, dodging a stream of boiling water.
Just when defeat seemed inevitable, the raccoon food truck drove in and launched a burrito straight into the Hydra’s top rack.
“THIS ISN’T DISHWASHER SAFE!” it shrieked before exploding into glitter and lemon scent.
In the wreckage: a glowing ceramic bowl with ancient runes that spelled “Microwave OK.”
The Sacred Bowl was theirs.
Chapter 4: Return of the Spoonlord
Back at their apartment, as they poured cereal into the Sacred Bowl, a rumble shook the earth.
From the shadows rose a cracked, enraged figure…
Sir Slurpius — now fused with a blender.
“You may have broken me,” he said, sparks flying, “but now I am… BLENDLORD SLURPIUS.”
Katila: “Dude. Go away.”
Jimmy: “Yeah, we’re in the middle of breakfast.”
Blendlord growled, raising a hand to summon a vortex of milk. But Jimmy hurled a cereal box directly into the vortex — the cereal expanded mid-air, absorbing all the milk like a sponge.
Katila followed up by launching the Spoon of Destiny into his control panel. POOF.
Blendlord exploded into a burst of trail mix.
Chapter 5: Meh-mosa
As peace returned, Jimmy and Katila sat on the couch, eating sogless cereal from the Sacred Bowl, watching TV static.
“Worth it?” Katila asked.
Jimmy chewed thoughtfully. “Meh.”
The cereal box glowed softly on the table. No one noticed it pulsing.
To Be Continued…
“Cereal Wars III: The Oath of the Oat King” (Coming soon?)
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