"Meh and the Multiverse of Flatulence"
Chapter 1: The Dimensional Stinker 9000
[Scene: Gerald’s Garage – filled with random junk, wires, and blinking gadgets]
Narrator:
In a world where boredom rules and flatulence flies free, one invention was about to accidentally change… everything.
[Meh walks in holding a half-eaten burrito]
Meh:
Yo Gerald, what’s this glowing trash can with a jet engine?
Gerald (wearing goggles, covered in duct tape):
That, my skeptical friend, is the Dimensional Stinker 9000. A portal generator powered by—
(dramatic pause)
—fart energy.
Fart (the character):
Did someone say fart?
(lets out a slow rumble)
Sorry, breakfast.
Gerald:
Perfect timing! That blast might be enough to power it up.
[The machine starts rumbling and sparking wildly]
Meh:
Wait, is it supposed to do that?
Gerald:
I don't know! I’ve only tested it with broccoli farts!
[A green vortex opens. Sucks in Meh, Fart, and Gerald]
All:
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
[Scene: Dimensional Transit Tunnel – swirling colors and floating toilet paper]
Meh (spinning):
This isn’t how I planned my Tuesday!
Fart:
I think I left the oven on…
Gerald:
Relax! We’re just traveling through the Inter-Fart-ial Multiverse! Probably.
[Scene: First Stop – Reverse World]
Narrator:
Welcome to Reverse World… where everything is backwards, even your underwear.
[Professor Fart in a lab coat walks in]
Professor Fart:
Ah, greetings travelers! I’ve been expecting you. Want tea?
Meh:
Why are you smart?
Professor Fart:
Because in this universe, intelligence is inversely proportional to bean intake.
Gerald (as a goat):
Maaaaaah. (Translation: I hate this already.)
Chapter 2: The Toilet Kingdom Throne-Off
[Scene: Vortex spits the crew out mid-air. They crash-land on shiny porcelain streets.]
Narrator:
After a brief but highly confusing visit to Reverse World, our heroes now find themselves in...
The Toilet Kingdom — where every citizen rides a royal toilet, and the King rules from the Throne... literally.
[Scene: A golden toilet chariot screeches to a halt in front of Meh, Fart, and Gerald]
Royal Guard (in armor made of toilet paper rolls):
HALT! Outsiders! State your names and business in the Kingdom of Porcelainia!
Meh (brushing off toilet water):
I’m Meh. That’s Fart. And the goat is Gerald. We’re... just passing through?
Fart:
I also might’ve farted on your road by accident. Sorry.
Royal Guard:
Silence! Only those who impress the King may pass to the Sacred Bean of Balance!
Chapter 3: The Fart of the Dead
[Scene: Dark, foggy forest. The portal spits them out into a puddle of slime.]
Narrator:
With two Sacred Beans secured, our heroes now enter…
The Zombie Dimension, where the dead don’t walk… they waddle, and they sniff.
[Scene: Meh, Fart, and Gerald look around. The sky is green, the trees are cracked toilets, and the air smells... suspicious.]
Gerald:
Okay. This place stinks worse than Fart’s gym socks.
Fart:
I don’t wear socks.
Gerald:
...Exactly.
[Suddenly, a creepy voice echoes.]
Whispering Voice:
They smell you… They HUNGER for your shame...
[Rotting zombies with gas masks rise from the mud.]
Zombie:
SSSSSSNNNNNNNIIIIFFFFFFF
He who dealt it… must be digested…
[Scene: The trio sprints through the woods.]
Meh:
New rule: no farting, no burping, no anything that makes a noise!
Fart (straining):
That’s like telling a bird not to fly!
[They find an old bunker made of urinals.]
Inside: A lone survivor—Captain Silentbutt. He wears camouflage made of toilet lids.]
Captain Silentbutt:
You’re not safe here. The zombies feed on the vibrations of shame. One slip… and they’ll swarm.
Gerald:
We’re looking for the third Sacred Bean. You know where it is?
Silentbutt:
It lies in the heart of the gas fields. Guarded by... the Flatulord.
[Scene: The Gas Fields – a swamp of bubbling goo. Giant sign reads: “DANGER: DO NOT RIP ONE.”]
Flatulord rises from the swamp. He’s huge, wearing armor made of plungers and air fresheners.]
Flatulord:
I am the Keeper of the Third Bean. If you want it, pass the Trial of Control.
Meh:
What kind of trial?
Flatulord:
You must eat these beans... and NOT fart.
[A table appears with plates full of chili, cabbage, and sparkling soda beans.]
Narrator:
One by one, they eat. One by one... they clench.
Gerald:
I swear if one of you slips—
Fart:
Toot.
[Alarms blare. Zombies rise from every direction.]
Flatulord:
YOU FAILED.
Meh:
Wait! I’ve got an idea!
[Meh pulls out the Dimensional Stinker 9000, points it at the zombie army, and smacks Fart on the back.]
Fart:
WHOOOAAAAHHHHHH— KABOOM!
[A nuclear-level fart explodes into the machine. Portal opens. Sucks in all the zombies.]
Flatulord (impressed):
...Respect.
Here. Take the bean.
[He hands over the glowing Third Sacred Bean.]
Narrator:
Three beans collected. But the journey’s far from over. Next stop: a place where farts are forbidden…
Chapter 4: Silence of the Farts
[Scene: A white flash. Then complete silence. Our trio lands in a world that looks clean, sterile... almost too perfect.]
Narrator:
They’ve passed through chaos and stink. But now, Meh, Fart, and Gerald face their most dangerous challenge yet:
A world where flatulence is forbidden.
A single toot... means instant punishment.
[Scene: Giant sign overhead reads “Welcome to Tranquilonia – No Burps. No Farts. No Exceptions.”]
Meh:
This place gives me the creeps. It's too quiet...
Gerald:
I swear if either of you lets one rip—
Fart (whispering):
Too late. I feel it building.
Meh (panicking):
No. No no. Hold it in. Think dry thoughts!
[A pair of robotic guards roll up—SILENCERS. Their heads are shaped like earplugs.]
Silencer #1:
Unauthorized pressure detected. Prepare for Correction.
[They aim massive tickle lasers.]
Fart (holding his butt):
NOOOO—NOT THE LASERS!
[They sprint away.]
[Scene: They hide inside a library. Everything is padded and everyone whispers.]
Librarian (shushing):
You are fugitives now. Speak only in whispers. And for goodness’ sake—do not say the word “fart.”
Fart:
What if I think it?
Librarian:
They’ll sense it. They always sense it.
[Scene: Deep underground. They find the Fourth Sacred Bean sealed in a glass dome labeled “EXTREME NOISE LEVEL – DO NOT TOUCH.”]
Gerald:
Let me guess… another “trial.”
Voice from above:
To earn the bean, you must face the Court of Quiet.
[Spotlights shine. The walls open, revealing a silent courtroom full of angry monks wearing noise-canceling headphones.]
Monk Judge:
You have disturbed our peace. The penalty… is eternal tickle torture.
Meh (thinking fast):
Wait! We challenge you... to a Duel of Dignity!
Monk Judge:
A fartless duel? Accepted.
[Scene: Gladiator arena. The challenge is to complete an obstacle course of spicy burrito pits, bouncing bean bags, and soda geysers—WITHOUT making a sound.]
Narrator:
Gerald almost sneezes. Fart nearly implodes. Meh? He’s laser-focused.
Meh (muttering):
No sound. No shame. Just… clench.
[They reach the finish line. Fart slips—but instead of farting, he burps quietly and bows.]
Monks (gasp silently):
Respect.
[Monk Judge hands them the Fourth Sacred Bean.]
Monk Judge:
May your cheeks remain clenched on the journey ahead.
Narrator:
Four beans down. But things are about to get personal.
A mysterious voice crackles through the portal:
"Well done, Meh. But you won't survive what comes next... your past."
To be continued in Chapter 5: “Return of the Mean Clean Gerald”
Chapter 5: Return of the Mean Clean Gerald
[Scene: The next portal opens, but this one feels... wrong. It’s dark, humming with static. The trio steps out onto a sidewalk made of bleach and bricks.]
Narrator:
They’ve battled stinklords, silent judges, and their own guts.
But now, Meh, Fart, and Gerald are about to face something far worse…
a perfectly clean version of one of their own.
[Scene: A shining cityscape — spotless, silent, spotless again. Drones polish windows mid-air. No trash, no dust, no... fun.]
Fart:
Why does this place smell like soap and sadness?
Gerald (looking around, suspicious):
This… this is my worst nightmare.
Clean walls. No chaos. No goats. No broken vending machines.
[Suddenly, robotic guards march up in formation. At their front stands... HIM.]
Clean Gerald:
Welcome, intruders.
I am Mean Clean Gerald — ruler of Orderverse.
[He's spotless, polished, wearing a suit with a bowtie and... deodorant.]
Meh:
Wait... you're Gerald?
Clean Gerald:
Not your Gerald. I am Gerald 2.0.
Upgraded. Organized. And disgusted by your existence.
Fart:
You smell like... lemon wipes.
Clean Gerald:
Thank you.
[Scene: The team is arrested and locked inside a cell made of folded laundry and disinfectant lasers.]
Gerald (our Gerald):
This guy’s the exact opposite of me.
Meh:
Yeah. You’re a chaotic disaster. He’s like… an evil Mr. Clean.
Fart (sniffing):
Also, my butt itches. This room’s too clean.
[Scene: They break out using Fart’s butt heat to melt the air freshener locks.]
Gerald:
Alright, I’m gonna fight my evil twin.
Meh:
Wait—you sure you can take him?
Gerald (pulling out a rusty plunger):
I was born for this.
[Scene: Gerald vs. Clean Gerald showdown on top of the City’s Automatic Carwash Tower]
Clean Gerald:
You are everything I stand against.
Unkempt. Unwashed. Unworthy.
Gerald:
And you’re a pompous lemon-scented jerk!
[They clash. One with perfect karate. The other with... chaotic slap fighting.]
Meh & Fart (watching):
GET HIM, G!
[Gerald tricks Clean Gerald by slipping on a banana peel, causing CG to fall into a dirty laundry chute.]
Clean Gerald (falling):
NOOOOO—THE WRINKLES—!!!
[Scene: The tower crumbles. A shiny vault opens, revealing the Fifth Sacred Bean.]
Narrator:
Victory! But with only two beans left, the crew must face their ultimate trial...
Meh (looking into the next portal):
...Uh oh. This one looks like home.
Fart:
Wait. Are we going back to our world?
Narrator:
Back to where it all began...
To be continued in Chapter 6: “The Origin of the Stink”
Chapter 6: The Origin of the Stink
[Scene: A quiet neighborhood. The portal drops Meh, Fart, and Gerald into Meh’s backyard. Everything looks… normal.]
Narrator:
After traveling through toilets, zombies, and lemon-scented clones…
Our heroes return home.
But something’s off.
Gerald:
Wait… didn’t we leave your grill over there?
Meh:
And the grass was never this green.
And where’s the mountain of soda cans we built in 5th grade?
Fart:
sniffs the air
This ain't right. This smells like… nostalgia.
[They explore the house. Everything is clean, organized, almost like it was before… before the chaos.]
[Suddenly, they hear laughter. Coming from inside the garage.]
Meh:
That’s my voice.
Gerald:
But younger. Pre-chaos. Pre… Fart?
[Scene: Inside the garage. A younger version of Meh sits with a mini version of Gerald and—
a small, scared-looking bean on a plate.]
Young Meh:
Guys, I dare you to eat this thing my grandma warned me about.
Young Gerald:
Do it, Meh! You won’t!
Young Meh (grinning):
Watch me.
[As Young Meh chomps the bean—reality begins to warp. A ripple explodes outward.]
Narrator:
This... this was the first Sacred Bean.
The OG Fart Bean.
The one that started it all.
[Our Meh suddenly grabs his head—visions flash.]
VOICES (echoing):
You created the stink... You unleashed the chaos... It always started with you.
[Suddenly, a dark version of Meh emerges from the shadows.]
Dark Meh:
You tried to run from it.
You tried to fight it.
But deep down… you are the chaos.
Fart:
Bro... is that Evil You?
Meh (shaking):
No. That’s not Evil Me.
That’s… The Stink Within.
[Dark Meh summons a twisted version of the Dimensional Stinker 9000. It pulses with dark beans.]
Dark Meh:
One more bean, and I’ll control the entire Multiverse of Flatulence.
Gerald:
Not if we beat your stinky butt first!
[Epic fight breaks out in the garage. Portal sparks, bean energy flying. Gerald uses a leaf blower. Fart throws bean bombs. Meh faces himself.]
Dark Meh (grinning):
You can’t destroy me. I am you.
Meh (standing tall):
Then it’s time I flushed you out.
[He slams the original bean into the Dimensional Stinker and reverse-blasts the portal. Dark Meh is sucked into it screaming.]
[The house calms. Time resets. The real world returns to normal.]
Fart:
What… just happened?
Gerald:
You farted time into balance.
Narrator:
The Sixth Sacred Bean—The First One—has been reclaimed.
But one final bean remains.
A mysterious voice whispers through the wind…
"Come find me... if you dare..."
To be continued in the final chapter: “Ultra-Karen: Keeper of the Last Bean”
Chapter 7: Ultra-Karen – Keeper of the Last Bean
[Scene: A swirling rainbow portal opens in the sky. It smells like expired perfume and rage.]
Narrator:
Six beans collected. One to go.
But the last Sacred Bean lies in the most dangerous realm of all…
The Realm of Customer Service.
[Scene: The trio lands inside a massive, glowing mall. Muzak plays. There are no exits. No time. Only rules.]
Sign reads:
“Welcome to ReturnZone. No Refunds. No Exceptions.”
Gerald:
I already hate this.
Fart:
Everything smells like... peach mango air freshener.
Meh:
Be on guard. Ultra-Karen could be anywhere.
[Suddenly, the ceiling shatters. Glitter rains down. An angry, 10-foot-tall woman with a massive haircut floats down in a hover-scooter.]
Ultra-Karen:
WHERE IS. YOUR. MANAGER?!
[She wields the Final Sacred Bean like a scepter.]
Ultra-Karen:
I’ve waited five eternities to speak to the multiversal supervisor.
And now you—unclean, unprofessional, unqualified beings—dare demand my bean?
[Scene: The mall war begins. Karen summons an army of complaint bots and receipt monsters.]
Karen:
I DEMAND ORDER! I DEMAND PERFECTION!
I DEMAND—
(gasps)
A DISCOUNT!
[Fart throws a bean grenade. Gerald pulls the fire alarm. Meh charges with his plunger of destiny.]
Narrator:
It’s fart vs. fury.
Complaint vs. chaos.
Manager vs. Meh.
[Mid-battle, Karen grabs Meh by the collar.]
Ultra-Karen:
You think this is funny?
Do you know how many surveys I’ve filled?
HOW MANY EMPLOYEES I’VE TRAUMATIZED?
Meh (calmly):
Yeah. But you forgot one thing...
Karen:
What?
Meh:
This isn’t your store anymore.
[Meh triggers the Dimensional Stinker 9000: Overload Mode. Powered by all 6 beans, it blasts Karen with the ultimate attack—The Infinite Return Slip.]
Karen:
NOOOOOOO—YOU CAN’T RETURN ME—
I’M STORE CREDIT ONLEYYYYY—!!!
[She implodes into a cloud of expired coupons and scented lotion.]
[Silence. The bean falls from the sky. Meh catches it.]
Fart:
We did it... We beat her.
Gerald (eating a pretzel):
No refunds on that whoopin’.
Narrator:
And with that… the 7 Sacred Beans were united.
The multiverse stabilized.
And the Dimensional Stinker 9000?
Retired... for now.
[Scene: Back in Meh’s garage.]
Fart:
So… what now?
Meh (grinning):
Now? We live. We laugh.
We fart.
[Cue epic music. A final blast of glittery gas fills the sky.]
THE END.
(…or is it?)
Coming Soon: “Meh and the Curse of the Eighth Bean”
Comments
Post a Comment