Mr. Patel’s Ranking Day

Every year at Meh High, one event made students shake in fear, laugh in chaos, or run for their lives: Mr. Patel’s Ranking Day.

Mr. Patel walked into the room with his famous clipboard, his glasses shining like he was about to grade the entire universe.

“Today,” he said dramatically, “I rank all of you. Not by grades… not by behavior… but by vibes.”

The class froze.

1st Place – Alan (Meh)

Mr. Patel pointed at you first.

“You… your vibe is unpredictable. One minute quiet, next minute creating entire universes. Elite. Top tier.”

Everyone groaned.

2nd Place – Camden

“You cause chaos,” said Mr. Patel. “But in a productive, semi-educational way.”

Camden celebrated like he won an Olympic medal.

3rd Place – Sweetheart

“Your energy is confusing,” Mr. Patel said. “You’re nice… but also slightly dangerous.”

Sweetheart winked, which scared half the room.

4th Place – Katie (Katila / Katinita)

“Constant menace. But entertaining. Keep it up,” he said.

Katie put on sunglasses for absolutely no reason.

5th Place – James

“Powerful but too loud,” Mr. Patel declared. “Volume control, please.”

James yelled “OKAY” even louder.

6th Place – Jennifer & Joylyn

“Tie,” Mr. Patel said. “Dynamic duo vibes.”

7th Place – Biscuit

“Good dog.”

Nobody knows why Biscuit is on the list. Mr. Patel refuses to explain.

8th Place – Mr. Patel Himself

“Yes,” he said proudly. “I rank myself. Because I can.”

9th Place – The Classroom Clock

“It ticks too loudly. Very disrespectful.”

10th Place – Gerald (from the Meh Series)

“He stole my sandwich once.”

Gerald yelled from down the hallway: “IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!”

At the end, Mr. Patel looked around.

“Any questions?”

Everyone shook their heads instantly.

“Good. Ranking Day is dismissed.”

He walked out, clipboard glowing like it had absolute power.