The Great Mehville Smackdown

It was another aggressively average Tuesday in Mehville. The sun was half-heartedly floating in the sky, and Meh was sitting on his usual couch, eating a half-cold burrito while staring blankly at the wall.

Suddenly, the front door was kicked off its hinges.

In rolled Gerald, wearing full battle armor, goggles, and a slice of flaming toast stuck directly to his helmet. Behind him, Fart drifted into the room on a cloud of green gas, looking ready for action.

"WAKE UP, MEH!" Gerald yelled, his voice echoing with extreme, over-scheduled panic. "The annual Mehville Chaos Clash is happening downtown, and our bracket just dropped!"

Meh didn't blink. "Can we reschedule it for never? I'm kind of in the middle of doing... nothing."

"No time!" Fart blurted out, letting out a pre-battle squeak. "Your opponent is already in the ring. It's... Hypnosis Kid!"

Meh sighed, grabbed a random stick from the floor, and dragged his feet all the way to the Mehville Arena.

The Matchup: Meh vs. Hypnosis Kid

The arena was packed with rowdy spectators eating cheese puffs. In the center stood Hypnosis Kid, wearing a swirl-patterned cape and glowing red eyes.

"Welcome, Meh," Hypnosis Kid sneered, crossing his arms. "I’ve read your mind. I know your every move. You’re lazy, unmotivated, and you completely lack an S-Tier attack name!"

Meh picked his ear with his stick. "Yeah, well, you're standing in my light. Move over."

Referee (Mind, shouting from the sidelines): "FIGHT!"

Hypnosis Kid instantly snapped his fingers. "SUCCUMB TO THE SWIRL!"

A massive wave of psychic rings pulsed through the air, targeting Meh's brain to force him to turn against his own team. The crowd gasped. Time seemed to freeze for a second as the psychic energy closed in.

Meh yawned. Right as the mind-control wave hit him, he let out a massive, unbothered burp mixed with a legendary, universe-shaking sigh.

BOOOOOOM!

The sheer weight of Meh's apathy acted as an absolute psychic shield. The mind-control waves bounced off him, feedback-looping straight back into Hypnosis Kid.

"Ugh—what is this defense?!" Hypnosis Kid stumbled back, clutching his head. "It's too boring! It's burning my brain!"

The Climax

Before Hypnosis Kid could recover, Gerald rocketed into the arena late, accidentally crashing through a wall on a Segway, while Fart unleashed a subterranean blast that shook the entire stadium.

"TAG ME IN!" Gerald screamed, slipping on a stray banana peel and launching himself head-first toward the villain like a human cannonball.

Hypnosis Kid tried to cast a final spell, but he was completely distracted by Gerald's flaming helmet toast.

CRASH!

Gerald collided directly with Hypnosis Kid, sending them both flying into a giant stack of empty cardboard boxes.

The dust settled. Hypnosis Kid was out cold, seeing cartoon stars.

The referee raised Meh's hand, even though Meh was already sitting down on a folding chair, opening a fresh juice box.

"Winner," the referee announced, "by absolute lack of effort... Meh!"

Fart cheered, Gerald posed triumphantly with his burnt toast, and Meh took a slow sip. Another classic day in the Mehverse.