Meh Series: The Day Everyone Turned Against Meh-_-

It was a completely normal morning on Mehearth. Meh was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with his usual face.

Meh: -_-

Suddenly, his alarm clock started screaming.

Alarm Clock: GOOD MORNING! TIME TO BE HAPPY!!!

Meh: Turn that thing off.

Alarm Clock: YOU ARE AMAZING! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! TODAY IS GOING TO BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE!!!

Meh: …I’m going back to sleep.

Meh threw his pillow at the alarm clock. Unfortunately, the pillow bounced off the wall, hit a mirror, and launched straight into his face.

Meh: -_-+

He got out of bed and walked outside. Something was seriously wrong.

People were smiling.

EVERYONE was smiling.

A guy was mowing his lawn while singing about grass. Two villains were holding hands and complimenting each other’s outfits. Even Gerald, the battle turtle, was wearing a pink bow tie.

Gerald: GOOD MORNING, MEH! I LOVE YOUR ONE HAIR!

Meh: What happened to you?

Gerald: I DISCOVERED THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!

Meh: I’m calling an emergency meeting.

Chapter 2: The Happiness Virus

Meh rushed to headquarters, where ALN, KT, DT, and Solar Nova were waiting.

ALN: BROOOO! I LOVE EVERYONE! I LOVE THIS BUILDING! I LOVE THE FLOOR!

DT: I just donated my entire villain-fighting budget to charity!

KT: I baked cookies for every person on Mehearth!

Solar Nova: I used my solar powers to create a giant rainbow!

Meh: …

Meh: WHO DID THIS?

Suddenly, Random burst through the ceiling wearing moss-green hair, eight toes, five ears, and a suit made entirely of bananas.

Random: I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!

Meh: If you say something about friendship, I’m throwing you into the sun.

Random: Someone stole the Meh Crystal!

Everyone gasped.

Meh: What’s the Meh Crystal?

Random: It’s the ancient artifact that keeps Mehearth emotionally neutral. Without it, everyone becomes ridiculously happy!

Meh: So that’s why everyone is acting like a walking motivational poster.

Random: EXACTLY!

ALN: Don’t worry, Meh! We’ll get the crystal back together! Friendship makes us stronger!

Meh: I’m leaving you here.

Chapter 3: The Secret Villain

The team tracked the crystal’s energy to an abandoned building on the outskirts of Mehearth.

Inside, they found a giant machine connected to the crystal.

And standing beside it was…

HEM.

Hem: Welcome, Meh. You’re right on time.

Meh: Give the crystal back.

Hem: Why would I do that? For centuries, you’ve ruled Mehearth with your boring face, your boring attitude, and your boring little hair.

Meh: It’s one strand.

Hem: THAT’S EVEN WORSE!

Hem pressed a giant red button.

A wave of pink energy exploded across Mehearth.

Suddenly, every building transformed into a giant smiley face. Cars started singing. The sky turned bright pink. Somewhere in the distance, a toilet began performing opera.

Random: THAT TOILET HAS A BETTER VOICE THAN ME!

Meh: This is the worst day of my life.

Hem: Soon, every person on Mehearth will become permanently happy! There will be no anger, no fighting, and no villains!

Meh: So your evil plan is to eliminate evil?

Hem: YES!

Meh: That’s actually kind of stupid.

Hem: SILENCE!

Chapter 4: The Battle for Mehearth

Hem unleashed his happiness-powered army.

ALN charged forward.

ALN: FOR FRIENDSHIP!!!

Hem’s soldier gently hugged him.

ALN: Wait, what are you doing?

Soldier: I believe in you.

ALN: NOOOOO! MY WEAKNESS!

KT tried to use her powers, but the pink energy turned her attack into a shower of heart-shaped confetti.

DT attempted a surprise attack, only to stop halfway through.

DT: Actually, I feel bad for attacking you.

Meh: EVERYONE ON MY TEAM IS USELESS!

Then Hem turned toward Meh.

Hem: And now, the final transformation!

He fired a massive pink beam directly at Meh.

The entire battlefield went silent.

The smoke cleared.

Meh stood in the center of a giant crater.

His face was unchanged.

-_-

Hem: WHAT?! WHY AREN’T YOU HAPPY?

Meh: Because I have absolutely nothing to be happy about.

Hem: IMPOSSIBLE!

Meh: Also, your machine has a terrible design.

Hem: WHAT’S WRONG WITH MY MACHINE?!

Meh pointed at a massive cable hanging loosely from the side.

Meh: That cable isn’t connected to anything.

Hem turned around.

Hem: WHAT?!

Meh pulled the cable.

BOOOOOOOOM!

The machine shut down.

The Meh Crystal flew into the air, and Meh caught it with one hand.

A wave of blue energy swept across Mehearth.

The rainbows disappeared. The singing stopped. The smiley-face buildings returned to normal.

Everyone’s expressions returned to normal.

Gerald looked down at his pink bow tie.

Gerald: What happened?

Meh: You had a personality malfunction.

Gerald: Understandable.

Chapter 5: Mehearth Returns to Normal

The heroes celebrated by returning to headquarters.

ALN: That was an incredible adventure! We saved everyone through teamwork!

Meh: I saved everyone by unplugging a cable.

KT: Same thing.

DT: Should we throw a victory party?

Meh: No.

Random: I’LL BRING THE BANANA CAKE!

Meh: Especially no.

Everyone laughed.

For the first time all day, Mehearth was finally back to normal.

Well, almost.

Deep beneath the ground, the broken happiness machine suddenly flickered back to life.

A tiny screen turned on.

SYSTEM REBOOTING…

NEW EMOTION DETECTED: ANGER.

TARGET: MEH.

A shadowy figure stepped out of the darkness.

???: Hem failed. Now it’s my turn.

The figure picked up a fragment of the Meh Crystal.

???: Let’s see how Meh handles a world where absolutely everyone hates him.

TO BE CONTINUED… -_-